Monday, March 22, 2010

I'm a member of the BBC (Bookless Book Club)

Twilight is "on demand" (cable-talk), New Moon just came out on DVD, and Eclipse is now running trailers all over the internet. If only Eclipse was in the theater (June 30, 2010 - mark your calendar, girls), we could call it the "Twilight Trifecta." Snub your noses, roll your eyes, spew your coffee if you must, but I AM a Twilight fan. There! I said it! It comes as no surprise to my Bookless Book Club (BBC) - indeed, they are the reason I fell into the vampire's lair.

Soon after moving into my new neighborhood (in my new city, in my new state, in my new region), I decided to start a neighborhood book club (neighborhood, because book club is synonymous with wine club, and the "walking home" option is a must). Everyone was "thumbs up" on the idea. It took awhile to pick a book and get it scheduled, but finally, a few months later, we were having our inaugural Book Club night. I think myself and three others (out of a dozen) actually read the selection. The gracious host did make the effort to purchase the book, but the cash register receipt being used as a bookmark never made it past the first chapter (note to hostess: it sometimes takes more than the first chapter to get to the meat of things).

Four months later we had a Christmas Book Club party (to celebrate all the great works we hadn't read). I brought a bagful of used books to hand out as "goodies," but again, there was more reading of wine labels than anything else that night. As we continued to partake of the vine, someone fancied herself a forward-thinker and made a suggestion:

"How about we watch a movie and then discuss IT at our next get-together?!?"

Inner dialogue: Hmmm...What shall it be....Pride & Prejudice? Atonement? Or something more current, Juno or The Time Traveler's Wife (by the way, snore), or Thank You For Smoking?

Forward-thinker blurts out: "Forgetting Sarah Marshall!!!"

What the - ?? Where do I live? Kappa Kappa Grammar?

The wine-soaked squealed with delight on something light-hearted and comical (not unlike ourselves). I began to wonder if any of the ladies could read anything other than a board book.

We never did see Forgetting Sarah Marshall as a group....although, Big Daddy and I watched it together. It was good for a few laughs, but neither of us felt compelled to delve into a probing discussion after. Just as well the BBC shelved it.

Summer came and went, but my hopes for a true book club, one in which books would be read and discussed, would not die. How could I convince these ladies to open something that wasn't a gossip magazine and had more than 34 pages?!? Hmmm....didn't I hear a couple of them discussing that tween series, Twilight over the summer?

Buffy: It's soo good.

Me: I don't do vampires.

Bella: It's not really about vampires like a horror story, it's more about true love and the gravitational pull to one's soul mate.

Me: Puke. Teen angst AND forbidden love. Even worse.

Seriously, people? Vampires? Eww. Pasty white. Suggestive biting. Fangs and blood. Not interested. But wait!!

I am a sucker (hee-hee, "sucker") for a great theme night. If I chose to host the next month's BBC, which was OCTOBER and all things HALLOWEENY, I could totally vamp it up. And so it was. I ordered wax fang lips from Oriental Trading Crap, stocked up on red wine, and had pomegranate martinis and bloody mary's on stand-by. All I had to do was read the book.

And READ I did!! Morning, noon and night! I totally fell for it. Hook, line, and sink my freakin' teeth into it! A week later, I was on to New Moon, which admittingly, was a bit of a disappointment. Not only because I was firmly planted in Team Edward at this point, but also because Bella perfected her P.I.T.A. * status. Seriously? She figured out Edward was a vampire in two days, but it took her nearly 300 pages to remember the werewolf tale Jacob had told her? Come on Bella (and Stephanie Meyer), you're smarter than that.

Not that it stopped me from digging into Eclipse! Who could resist the youthful, loyal like a puppy (obvi, duh! descendant of the wolf) Jacob Black. Not unlike many of you (and you know who you are), I'm starting to take to him a little more. I'm sure it's because of the deeper character study as he narrates half the book and has nothing to do with the shirtless Taylor Lautner plastered all over the wonderful world of marketing.

Speaking of shirtless (then) minors...Big Daddy doesn't like me elaborating on the boys of Twilight, although I continue to assure him that slight swoons and minor drools are nothing to be threatened by. The truth is, Big Daddy is the best of Team Edward and Team Jacob all wrapped up into one perfect package. He's a Renaissance man like Eddie, able to quote lines and lines of literature (and by literature, I mean movies) and possessing more than a superficial amount of intelligence in the area of science (his paper airplanes continue to amaze me and the kids). He's also hot-blooded like Jake (letting me put my cold feet on his long calves every night when I crawl into bed) and completely loyal (I'm not as pathetic as Bella, but I do have one or two character flaws that Big Daddy continues to overlook and loves me in spite of). Who needs the "just crawled out of bed 'do" and the 12-pack abs?!? I'm Team Big Daddy all the way!

To conclude, the BBC did come prepared for a discussion on Twilight. At that point, I had not yet read the final book (was only able to squeeze in first three in the month before the meeting) - so most of them were ahead of me on the material. Later that fall, we showed book club solidarity as we went to see New Moon in the theater (begrudgingly, they even took a photo in the theater lobby with our wax fangs in, but they'd die if I posted it), and I'm sure we'll be there for Eclipse in full strength this summer.

It's been five months since our last BBC wine tasting. As much as I long for a real book club as opposed to the bookless variety I belong to, I wouldn't trade these neighbors for anything. The gossip-rag reading, let-your-dog-out-while-you're-gone, meals-on-wheels for those in need, let's-order-pizza-on-the-deck, watch-my-kids-in-your-backyard kinda crew I live amongst beats "The Jane Austen Book Club" any day of the week and twice on grill-out Sunday.

End of Story.
*Pain In The Ass


  1. I haven't read Twilight, but for the record, I've ATTEMPTED to read Jane Austen, and it nearly killed me (and I consider myself highly educated)! Your neighborhood book club may not be particularly erudite (like the big word I threw in there as a show of my higher education?) but it sounds like a load of fun. Wish I could join you.

  2. Nice picture! I just can't get past Jacob as Shark Boy though. Thankfully that one detail has kept me from getting in trouble in my daydreams... since I am scared of Lava Girl

  3. Welcome to the Twilight Mom Club! I can thank my Twilight addiction for teaching Cody how to use a microwave - poor kid would have starved! Teacher and mother duties just came to a screeching halt. Who needed sleep? I had to finish ... I am grateful that our friendship can still continue ... you were testing the boundaries at the beginning of your blog but I just knew that if you gave it a chance you too would soon pick a team. Viva Team Edward! :)

  4. My lil sis is the epitome of Twihardom. She was reading the first book during a breakup and was hooked. She flew through the others, repeatedly, and can literally quote the first movie [a given since the woman ... over 30 years of age ... saw the first movie THIRTY times IN THE THEATER.] Yeah. I'm worried, too.

    She's now on to the fanfiction and has written a one-shot herself. She's gathered new friends through this obsession ... or robsession ... and recently flew out to CA for a girls' meetup and viewing of Remember Me.

    Basically, I defy anyone to know anything about the books/movies that she doesn't know. Where's the Jeopardy category because she'll blow the eggheads away.

    Me? I've only read all the books (more than once) and went at midnight with my 50+ year old stepmom to buy the final book. We read outloud until after 3 a.m. and had to put the book down during that time to wipe away the tears of laughter at a well-anticipated part.

    I'd totally crash your "book"club if only we lived closer. Very jealous right now!